


Early Late

by SoLetUsBeLate



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Convenience Store, Comfort, F/F, Insomnia, Late Night Conversations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-10-22 00:05:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17652275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoLetUsBeLate/pseuds/SoLetUsBeLate
Summary: Laura, tired and sleepless, struggles to make a connection; to find someone, anyone, in the cold, unfeeling city. Between long conversations in convenience stores and sharing late-night meals in sketchy diners, she manages to find comfort with another sleepless woman.official playlist





	1. Ramen noodles and familiar faces

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2am because I couldn't sleep, ignoring my other continuing fic. This is an elaborate ruse to make Hollstein have long and winding conversations about nothing and everything, which I haven't even gotten into in this first chapter. I have no shame.
> 
> Inspired by the movie Sleepless (2015)
> 
> The title is from a song with the same title by BP Valenzuela. You can listen to it in the official playlist.
> 
> **  
> i just noticed that i use the word "late" a lot lol  
> this fic is called Early Late  
> my handle is SoLetUsBeLate  
> and i have another fic called First Love/Late Spring
> 
> ah well at least i'm self-aware right?? (it doesnt make things better, i know, i'm sorry)

_Who are you in the darkest hours of the night when I'm not looking and do I really wanna know?_

 

A bottle of Cocio and seafood cup ramen.

Another midnight snack for Laura for the umpteenth time in the span of weeks, maybe months. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but she had nothing better to do. Between switching social media apps in an endless loop, blue light against her face in stark contrast against her dark room, and out here, on a cool spring night in a convenience store, she'd more often chosen the latter option. She felt less alone this way, in the presence of strangers perhaps as hated by the sandman as herself.

It wasn't the first time she decided to go out instead of sleeping, and it showed in her eyes. They were dark around the edges and were swollen, as if she'd just spent the last twenty minutes crying. She sighed to herself, knowing that this predicament was not exactly doing wonders for her health.

She had made plans to sleep, that much was obvious from how she was dressed: she had a tank top and pajama bottoms on, topped only with a windbreaker to make it a bit appropriate for outdoors. She dragged her trusty birkenstocks across the store, shuffling towards the counter, to pay for her snack. The clerk nodded at her, the sign of a small sense of familiarity between them.

She glanced at her phone as she walked to a table, her food on a tray. It was 2:34 a.m. She winced, knowing she had to be up by 6 a.m. to get ready for her job, as it was a good 40 minutes of biking away from her apartment. She always felt tired as she threw herself to her work, in hopes of feeling exhausted enough to just fall asleep once she collapsed to her small bed. Of course, that never happened. She was entirely spent by the end of the day, still never getting the sleep that her body so desperately needed, but her mind vehemently refused to give all the same.

She started eating her noodles, the warmth enveloping her mouth. She slurped and chewed, her eyes trained out the window. In between sips of her chocolate milk, she checked her phone, waiting for emails and text messages that never come. She did so without purpose, without need. They are all simply acts of rote.

She stared off into the distance, watching the sparsely populated streets at this time of the night. Many were drunk, swaying as they tried to get home, hurling here and there. Some others were just teenagers being teenagers, skateboarding along the sidewalk. Some more were just aimlessly walking, putting one foot in front of the other, as if it was all they could remember to do. Do any of these people have someone waiting for them at home? If they met an accident right now, will they be missed? What about herself? If she changed, would anybody notice? These little trips to this 24/7 shop always brought out these kinds of thoughts out of her, thoughts that she usually pushed out of her mind. 

She was rational, she searched for the truth. Speculation was a part of that, of course, but indulging in it was something she did not particularly like. She was a problem-solver, and being stuck in this cycle of overthinking frustrated her; it did not allow much for problem-solving, only for unwanted existential crises as she grappled with insomnia.

Indeed, Laura had trouble sleeping, and she wasn't sure why. Was it the cold impersonality of the city? Was it the stress of her job? Was it her growing dissatisfaction with her life so far? She did not know, and she didn't know if she wanted to know. Toronto was bigger than she'd ever imagined, and felt even bigger for a provincial girl who moved to the big city alone. Maybe the whole thing was getting to her, doing unexplainable things to her nerves. Maybe she wasn't meant to live in the city. to pursue her lofty dreams. Maybe she just wasn't cut out for this life.

All she really knew was that she missed her dad. She missed her friends from her hometown. She missed being in close proximity to people, to be able to touch them, to have some semblance of intimacy in her life.

She thus decided that the problem was loneliness.

Once she'd named the problem, she could get to solving it. She went ahead and did all the things she usually enjoyed, like reading fanfiction, writing them, being involved in a fandom. But not even those things brought her joy anymore. Everything tasted bland to her, and she did not have the energy to even read. She might be losing herself, and she didn't even know why.

She had turned 24 a couple of months ago, a serious adult age, if she did say so herself. Still, she knew she was feeling rather rudderless; stuck in a job she wasn't sure she wanted, no constant group of friends to surround her, no one she dared to talk to. Sure, her workmates offered to hang out, but she felt as if they were only doing so out of obligation. They brought her into their little group, but she knew they hung out without her, not bothering to tell her about any plans they might have had. She came to realise that she was just not a part of the group; it hurt her at first, but she eventually became at peace with it. She knew it was her own self-importance that made her feel hurt, and she chastised herself for her ego. She decided that she did not want to be a burden to them, so she stopped telling them about her problems, only talking to them when she's talked to.

Now, the only thing disrupting the monotony of her daily routine are these late night trips to the convenience store just below her apartment building. There was the occasional friendly stranger, of course, but she was too nervous to strike up conversations with them, or to keep the exchange up when they do talk to her. Even loneliness cannot win over her anxiety. Mostly, she was contented with the company of the clerk, who'd acknowledged her as a regular but pretty much left her alone with her thoughts. It was a comforting presence, like driving your car alone in a dark road and having at least one other car driving at a short distance behind you.

That was the truth, until she saw someone sitting across from her on the other table. It was a familiar stranger, one she'd probably seen several times in the store already. She mentally slapped herself for not recognising such a remarkable stranger immediately. She was a dark-haired woman with remnants of make-up left on her face, as she probably just came back from a night of partying or some place out; but more importantly, she looked like an insomniac, just like Laura. She had the beginnings of dark lines under her eyes, a sign that she lacked sleep for at least as long as Laura have. Tonight, she only had a black raglan pullover on and boxer shorts, a bit underdressed considering the weather. It was a good thing she wore a strikingly yellow beanie and wool socks, small concessions to the cold wind that blew in the wee hours of the morning.

The woman had a mysterious air about her, and oh god, was she beautiful. She had a book in her hand; she also had seafood cup ramen in front of her, but had canned coffee for a drink instead. How Laura wanted to approach her, to connect with her, to finally have some human contact; they were kindred spirits, surely, she thought to herself. They both seemed to have trouble sleeping, they both liked seafood-flavored noodles, and they both liked Pablo Neruda, judging from that book the other woman was reading. Still, she did not make a move. She was not the kind of person to project her needs onto strangers just because she was feeling lonely, and seeing as the woman had a book with her, it was a safe bet to say that she did not want to be bothered.

The woman stood up to leave, downing her coffee in one go while her ramen remained half-eaten. Laura was disappointed to see her go, not really having cemented her decision to not talk to her. She checked the time and found that it was already 4:47 a.m., inwardly laughing at herself for failing a spot check on the time. Had she been staring at the woman for that long? She watched the woman go, the clerk nodding at her as she gave the clerk a two-finger salute. Laura was right; she'd seen her before. She was a regular in the convenience store, just like her.

Laura decided to get going to try to grab a few minutes of sleep. Maybe she could sleep peacefully now, actually having something to look forward to for the next day. Maybe she'd talk to the other woman; maybe she won't. It was just nice to see a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to know what you think. Thank you for reading!


	2. Cookies and being meta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the arrangement. They finally start talking, and we get to know them through the small bits about themselves that they let slip through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back on meds. I don't know how this will affect my writing, but I hope it will be for the best.

It was 1:30 a.m. and Laura found herself alone in the elevator of her building. She couldn't sleep again, no matter how much she tossed and turned, no matter how much she tired herself of doing advanced yoga poses, no matter how many glasses of warm milk she gulped.

It came as no surprise.

Laura dragged her feet out of the metal box, then out of the lobby, the convenience store just two or three steps away from the aparment building's entrance. She paused to look around, taking in the inanity of her surroundings.

The streetlights outside were dim; a handful of people were shuffling about, their eyes focused on wherever it is they thought they were supposed to go. A couple of women who looked about her age had their backs against the glass windows of the store, taking long drags off of their menthol cigarettes, hot coffee in styrofoam cups in their hands. One of them noticed her and offered her a stick, which she politely refused. She had to admit that she was curious about cigarettes, but she wasn't really in the mood to try them right at this moment. She continued looking around, seeing the same group of teenagers as last night doing tricks on their skateboards. She decided that it was too cold to stay outside, so she pushed the door to the store open.

Laura paced through the aisles, not really interested in eating anything, but knowing that she had to buy something to loaf around. She fortunately found a packet of her favorite chocolate chip cookies and took it, tucking it under her arm as she went to get a cup for the coffee vending machine. She then filled it with hot mochaccino and brought it to the clerk to pay. She counted her coins and placed it on the counter, bringing her food to a table near the windows.

She continued to stare outside as she zipped up her windbreaker. There are more people in the store than usual, leaving only one vacant seat, which was right beside her. Despite the unexpected bustle, her thoughts began to eat at her in the usual way they did.

"Hey."

Laura looked up to see the woman from last night staring down at her, the same brand of cookies in one hand and a can of black coffee on the other. The woman continued speaking, "Mind if I sit here?"

"Yes. I mean no. I mean, sure, take a seat right here beside me. I mean, sit wherever you want."

The woman chuckled and shook her head, noticing Laura's slight panic. Laura did not expect to be talked to, much less that it would be the woman she wanted to approach last night.

"I see you around here often," the woman said as she took the seat beside Laura.

She tried to push down her anxiety to try to talk to this woman. She was lucky enough that the other woman said the first word; now, she just had to keep it up.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep." _Nice way to cut off the conversation, Laura!_

"Oh, you too?"

"Yeah." After a beat, Laura managed to say something else to not let the conversation end. "You don't look like the type to do small talk with strangers."

The other woman grinned. "Ah, does it show?"

"Yeah, you kind of give off this 'stay away from me' vibe."

"That I do. But there's too many people here tonight so I'm forced to sit right next to someone, which turned out to be you. You're cute, so might as well, right?"

Laura was unfortunately trying to take a sip of her drink at that moment and almost choked on her coffee. The other woman laughed as she offered Laura a handkerchief, which she gladly took.

"I'll give it back once I've washed it."

"Nah, keep it."

Laura thanked her and hesitantly pocketed the handkerchief after wiping herself with it. It smelled of smoke and roses, she observed. The other woman simply gave her a lopsided grin.

"So, um... What's your deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you do?"

"For a living?" Laura nodded. "Ah, I've always hated that question, though. 'What do you do for a living?' What we do to earn cash so we could survive from day to day isn't necessarily what we live for, don't you agree?"

"Slow down, Plato. No need to get all philosophical."

The woman smiled as she ran her fingers through her hair. "You know what? I'm not gonna answer that," she paused, as if to think something over. After a few seconds, she continued. "What I have for you instead, milady, is a proposal."

Laura bunched up her face. _This better not be going where I think this is going._ "And what do you propose, your grace?"

"Let's just talk. No personal details, no surnames, none of that boring run-of-the-mill small talk bullshit."

 _Sounds interesting._ "Color me intrigued. I'm in, but I reserve the right to retract my consent at any point."

The dark-haired woman laughed and stretched out her hand to give Laura a handshake. "Carmilla."

Laura took the hand and shook it firmly, trying to establish dominance to cover her anxiety. "Laura."

The two shared a warm smile, hands lingering on each other's for a bit before Laura panicked and retracted her own. "So, Laura. I guess this'll make our mutual lack of sleep a bit more tolerable. Maybe even a bit more fun."

"I guess. So what do we talk about?"

"Asking about what to talk about is so meta in a very clumsy way, no?"

 _She sounds so smart but so condescending._ "Then how do you suggest people who just met start talking?"

"I don't know, just pick a topic and run with it? Just don't call attention to the fact that you have no idea what to talk about. It's rather uncouth."

"You talk like an old person," Laura blurted out.

"Oh, I do many things like an old person."

"Like yell at teenagers to get off your lawn?" Laura quipped.

"We're in the city center, cupcake. There are no lawns here."

 _Cupcake, really?_ "Didn't really answer my question."

Carmilla rolled her eyes. "No, I don't. Happy?"

"Not really," Laura giggled. "Anyway, what do you mean you do a lot of stuff like an old person?"

"Nice segue, cutie."

"I thought we shouldn't call attention to the fact of having a conversation because it's 'uncouth'?"

"No, what I called uncouth was calling attention to the fact that you have no idea what to talk about."

"Now you're just being overly-technical."

Carmilla chuckled. "Alright, alright. Well, despite the whole awkwardness, I have to admit, it's pretty interesting to talk about talking. No one really talks about it; at least, not in casual conversation."

"Oh yeah, I haven't really talked about talking about stuff."

"We totally sound like a pair of pseudointellectuals here. More me than you, though."

"Then I suppose it's my lucky day, because I'm a pseudosapiosexual. I'm only attracted to pseudointellectuals."

Carmilla snorted, the expression betraying the elegance her frame exuded. "Good one, cupcake. I'm stealing that."

"I just stole it, too." Laura winked.

"Must be my lucky day then, too. I fucking love criminals." It was Laura's turn to laugh like a madman. Once she'd calmed down, she spoke up once again.

"It's kinda funny, though, how the first thing we talk about is talking about stuff."

"Now you're being meta about being meta."

"And by saying that, you're being meta about being meta about being meta."

"And now that _you've_ said that, you're being meta about being meta about being meta about being meta."

"This is giving me a headache. I must have made a wrong choice somewhere to end up in this shi-- _nonsense_ path."

"Ooh, is that a gaming reference? And did you really just stop yourself from swearing? Nerd."

"The fact that you even know games enough to bring it up makes you just as much of a nerd as me."

"Nah, that's pretty cool. I was talking about the swearing."

Laura lifted an eyebrow. "At the very least, your coolness, we're getting to know each other without really talking about ourselves. Now you know that I don't really swear a lot, and now I know that you're a nitpicky jerk despite your pretty face." Laura mentally slapped herself after letting that comment slip out. She feels that the other woman won't let that tidbit go.

"You think I have a pretty face?" Carmilla smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, you're easy on the eyes." Laura admitted. She tried to spin it into a tease to cover up her own embarassment. "Can't say the same about your effect on the ears, though."

"Oh, I beg to differ. Many a lady have told me that I sound sexy," Carmilla said, making her voice sound huskier for emphasis.

Laura's eyebrows shot up. "So you're into women," she replied, not really saying it as a question.

Carmilla scoffed. "Excuse you. Women are into _me_."

"Ha! May we all have the confidence of Carmilla, the resident pseudointellectual of 7 Eleven."

"Yeah, okay. I'm Sapphic. And what about it?"

"Nothing. We see eye to eye in that respect, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I kinda knew." Laura looked at her questioningly. Carmilla answered with a laugh. "The Birkenstocks are a dead give away, don't you think?"

"You don't strike me as the type to believe in stereotypes," Laura said sarcastically, looking down at her feet. "But yeah, I guess."

"Oh no, I don't. I was just teasing. I'm all about fighting the system and shit."

"Now that's more fitting." Upon glancing at the other woman's feet, she added, "The Doc Martens are a dead give away, don't you think?"

Carmilla snickered. "Touché."

"Ugh. What were we talking about again? I mean, before you brought us to this weird judgmental carousel?"

"Huh. Let's see." Carmilla put a hand under her chin, rubbing as she thought it over. "Ah, you were asking me about old person stuff?"

"Ah, yes. Yes. What did you mean about doing a lot of sfuff like an old person?"

"Hmm. Well, for starters, I don't really do all that internet shit. I'm more of a library kinda gal. So even if I gave you my last name, I don't think you'd find me online."

"So you don't have a facebook?" A shake of the head. "Instagram?" Another shake of the head. "Twitter?"

"I had one, but I barely use it."

"Get with the times, grandma. The future is now," Laura teased.

"I do have a tinder, though."

"Is that where you prowl for women who'd call your voice sexy?"

"Prowl? Please. Women come to me, cutie. I don't come to them."

Laura's eyes lit up in realization. "But last time I checked, _you_ were the one who approached _me_."

Carmilla rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed her real thoughts. "Like I said, you're cute. So might as well, right?"

"Are you seriously flirting with me right now?" Laura asked, pretending to be annoyed to hide the warmth creeping on her cheeks.

"Is it not allowed?"

"I neither encourage nor discourage this behaviour."

Carmilla chuckled. "Your coffee's getting cold."

Laura had totally forgotten about the coffee. She gulped it down quickly, savouring the remaining warmth it had. She noticed the packet of cookies and opened it, taking one for herself and offering Carmilla another.

"No, thanks. I have the same cookies, see?"

"Oh, yeah. I noticed earlier. What a coincidence, huh?"

"There are no coincidences, cupcake. There is only hitsuzen."

"What's hitsuzen?"

"Look it up, big boy."

"Did you just quote freaking Easy A??"

"To quote another great thinker: 'The fact that you know it enough to even bring it up makes you as much of a nerd as I am.' "

Laura laughed. "I wasn't calling you a nerd."

"Preempting that to protect my coolness factor," Carmilla shrugged.

"That's so lame," Laura giggled. "You're lame."

Carmilla offered her a smile. "Hey, I'm just trying to impress the cutie I just met."

"Oh, stop it, you."

Carmilla shook her head and glanced down at her wristwatch. "Oh, it's almost 4 a.m."

Laura looked around to see that they were the only patron left. She didn't even notice people leaving. "What! I feel like it's only been minutes."

"Don't miss me too much, cutie. I have to get going."

"Where do you have to be?"

"Tsk. Tsk. No personal details, remember?"

"Ooh, mysterious."

Carmilla stood up to leave. She turned to the clerk and gave a two-finger salute, then turned back to Laura. "Sorry to cut this short, and abruptly, too. Guess I'll just see you tomorrow?"

Laura grinned. "Yes, tomorrow."

With that, they both headed out. Laura did not see any point in staying longer in the store, now that the other woman had to leave. Later, as they both went to bed, neither woman was able to sleep as thoughts of the other consumed their consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you!


	3. Potato chips, coffee, and suggestions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: smoking

"I thought you wouldn't come."

"Not if I can do anything about it, cutie."

It was 2 a.m. when Carmilla came to their seat at the local 7eleven. It was about the fifth time they met up, and Laura had been waiting for almost an hour; she was already beating herself about not asking for her number when Carmilla came in.

"So, how's it going?" Laura asked.

"Really? That's what you've got? How's it going?"

"I mean, I can't really ask you about work, can I?"

"Nah. Personal question. Off-limits."

"Can I at least know your last name?"

Carmilla shook her head. "Gotta keep my air of mystery around here."

Laura grunted. "See, what can I ask you then?"

"You can ask me about Alice Isn't Dead."

"What's that?"

"It's a podcast I've been listening to for the past week. It's by the same people who does Welcome to Night Vale."

"I don't know either of those things."

Carmilla sighed. "Welcome to Night Vale is a surreal horror comedy show. It's funny, you should listen to it." She swept her long hair back. "Alice Isn't Dead isn't as big on the comedy aspect, it plays the horror trope a bit more straight."

"I see. What is it about?"

"A woman thought her wife was dead, but eventually had reason to think she isn't. So she spends her time driving around a truck to look for her wife, the titular Alice."

"Gay women and mystery? I like it already. I'll give a listen to it."

"Good. Podcasts are a really interesting way of story-telling, don't you think?"

"I'm not really big on those."

"You better start listening to it, we can talk about it later." Carmilla smiled.

"By the way, I googled what 'hitsuzen' meant. I read about it on some Japanese philosophy blog."

"What did it say?"

"It just said that there are no coincidences, and everything is according to some plan or reason, or maybe even purpose."

"Exactly. Look, we have the same snacks again," Carmilla said, looking down at their potato chips. "I believe this is all according to plan."

"Whose plan, God?"

"Do I strike you as the type to believe in some god?"

"Yeah, if god was a queer woman."

"Well, true. But not necessarily. maybe some kind of force? The universe? The stars? I don't know. But I'm glad it led me to you."

"That's some romantic shit right there. Didn't expect that from you, Carm."

"See, you're calling me 'Carm' already. All according to hitsuzen."

"You better stop or we end up having babies together in the future."

"Who cares about the future when there's a plan? Speaking of which, let's plan something else. Let's go to some other place next time. Maybe have a late dinner or something? I want something more filling than convenience store food."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Laura teased.

"A date or not, what does it matter?"

"Hitsuzen," Laura teased.

"Whatever." She chuckled. Seeing Laura's chocolate milk, she added, "You seem to be into chocolate."

Eyeing Carmilla's canned coffee, she answered. "And you seem to be into coffee."

"Eh, it's okay. I've had better. Hence, the invitation to eat somewhere else."

"Okay, ladykiller, maybe tomorrow."

"Tomorrow sounds good."

The two shared a lingering look, a slight shift in the air in between them formed as Laura felt warmth that wasn't there before.

"What keeps you up at night, cupcake?"

Laura was surprised by the question but nonetheless answered. "Just the feeling of being alone in the city. Sadness? Depression? Actual insomnia? I dont know."

"I'm the same, to be honest. I moved here alone to make a name for myself, away from my family's influence, but I ended up being all lonely and friendless here. I couldn't sleep most nights too."

"So you come from a pretty big name family huh?"

"You could say that."

Laura saw the people outside who were smoking. Understanding that it might be because those people were under stress, she asked Carmilla. "Wanna try smoking?"

"I do smoke sometimes. Do you?"

"No, but I wanted to try it."

"I have a pack here. Wanna do it outside?"

"Sure."

The two finished their potato chips and stood up, walking towards the exit of the store with their drinks. Carmilla did a two-finger salute to bid goodbye to the clerk and the two went out.

Carmilla took out her menthol pack and gave a stick to Laura.

"Do you know how to do it?"

"No."

"You pop that ball-like thing in the filter before taking it between your lips."

Laura did as she was told and Carmilla brought out her lighter. "I'm gonna light it for you. You suck in as I light, okay?"

Carmilla flicked the lighter and lit Laura's cigarette. Laura immediately coughed heavily, while Carmilla laughed at her misfortune.

"Wow, that is not for me."

"It's absolutely for no one."

"Laura tried to puff another but had the same reaction, tears welling up in her eyes. She exhaled smoke and followed it with her chocolate milk as she couldn't bear the taste of tobacco. She ended up finishing the drink in one go.

"It leaves an awful taste in my mouth. How can you stand this?"

"It's become a habit, but I only really smoke sometimes, like when I can't sleep."

"But you can't sleep all the time!"

"Whoops. I might be already addicted, then."

"When did you start?"

"Maybe around highschool? I was a punk."

"Still are, from the looks of it." Laura teased.

Carmilla smiled. "Yeah, well, old habits die hard."

Laura tried to finish the cigarette but she kept on coughing and wheezing. Carmilla took the cigarette from her hand and threw it away.

"You don't have to worry about wasting the cig. I still have more here. You're too much of a goody-goody to look cool while smoking."

"So you admit that you smoke to look cool?"

"Nah, it's just a habit. I know I smell bad after smoking."

"Oh no, not at all. You smell awesome."

Carmilla lifted an eyebrow and looked teasingly at Laura, who blushed and stuttered as she tried to defend what she'd just said. She finished her cigarette and took Laura by the hand, pulling her towards the end of the block.

"I know a good coffee place that's still open right now. Let's just talk there."

Laura was still red-faced, looking at their interlaced fingers. She found herself enamoured with this beautiful woman.

A few steps later, they were at the coffee shop. It looked homey and had little to no patrons. They had several old-looking books lining up the shelves, and a lone barista stood by the counter. The interior had a wooden finish, and it looked sort of tribal.

"You'll love the coffee here, trust me." Facing the barista, she ordered. "Two brewed coffees please. One with milk and sugar, the other with just sugar. Ifugao blend."

Carmilla led them to the bean bags right by the bookshelves as they waited for their coffees.

"What's an Ifugao blend?" Laura asked.

"The beans are from a mountain area in the Philippines called Ifugao. They're real good."

Carmilla picked up a book from the shelves; it was Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami.

"Have you read this book?"

"No, I haven't realmy done much reading ever since I moved here."

"Take it. You can rent books from here. I'll put it under my tab."

"Oh no, you don't have to do that."

"If I don't, you probably would forget all about it."

Laura laughed sheepishly and took the book. Their coffee arrived a few minutes later, Laura immediately taking a sip.

"Oh wow, that's strong."

"Yeah, but it's not acidic, that's why I love it so much."

"Let me try yours."

Laura's face visibly changed and contorted.. The absence of the milk made a huge difference and she tasted the coffee in all its glory. Carmilla couldn't help but chuckle at Laura's antics.

"Yeah, I get why you like it now. I'm not big on coffee but I can see myself liking this."

"Some people say that what you say about coffee the first time is what you say about sex."

Laura did a spit take as Carmilla guffawed.

"Fuck you, Carm." Laura said in between coughs.

"You're such a virgin."

"Oh trust me, I'm not." Laura grinned with confidence.

Two perfectly shaped eyebrows shot up at that comeback. 

"Maybe prove it sometime," Carmilla whispered just enough for Laura to hear.

Laura, however, didn't hear the comment as she yawned loudly. "Finally got sleepy at 3:30 a.m. And right after drinking coffee, too."

"Let's go then. I'll come with you."

"Nope. Too personal." Laura stood up to pay for their coffee, but Carmilla was quicker than her and paid for it before Laura could.

"No fair." Laura said as she crossed her arms.

"There's always next time, cutie."

"See you tomorrow, then?"

"See you tomorrow." After a beat, she added, "For a very late dinner." Carmilla winked.

Laura's chest tightened. She bid goodbye then immediately ran towards her apartment building. As she reached her room, she placed both hands on her chest, breathing heavily, and whispered to herself.

"Oh no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. tapsilog, beers, and an arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more random talks and an arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have an official playlist for this story. check it out [ here. ](https://open.spotify.com/user/12151868109/playlist/2MsXPaF4UnjsS71I1JYWjo?si=_TK1tY8TTVi0_tL4NQO3mA)

"What's up, creampuff?"

"Huh? Why?"

"You've been staring at me blankly for about five minutes now."

Indeed, Laura had been steadily gazing at Carmilla for the past few minutes, silently thinking about how this has been her worst crush in a very long time.

They each had a bowl of tapsilog and a cup of coffee; Carmilla suggested that they go back to the cafe for dinner breakfast food, outside of the typical stuff they'd eat for breakfast.

Call it anticipation, nervousness, or excitement, but Laura went to _their_ 7Eleven at 11 p.m. Carmilla arrived at 12 a.m., surprised that Laura was already there. She thought she arrived early as they usually met up at around 2 a.m., perhaps hoping to surprise the smaller girl.

"Already jonesing for more Carmilla?" She smirked.

"Please. I know you missed me so I went in early. _You_ can't get enough of all this," Laura said as she motioned over her body, trying to hide her embarassment.

"You're right. I can't resist such a sexy uncoordinated body."

"How do you know I'm a klutz?"

"You just told me."

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I'm actually a champ at Krav Maga," Laura huffed.

"Ooh, wanna take me down?"

"Wouldn't wanna risk turning you on."

Carmilla actually blushed for the first time since they met, and Laura couldn't help but hope that it meant something.

"Come on, cutie. Let's grab dinner."

They went to the cafe hand in hand, Carmilla pulling her along towards the cafe from last night. Laura feared that Carmilla could hear her heart beating out loud, and silently thanked Carly Rae Jepsen that the taller girl didn't have superhuman senses.

Carmilla had been asking her about her day, but Laura failed to register the question, having been staring at the dark-haired woman while in deep thought.

"It's nothing." Laura finally answered, blushing.

"If there's something bothering you, you know that you can tell me, right?" Carmilla said, reaching for Laura's hand. Laura instinctively squeezed back.

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Let's start over. How was your day?"

"Bed. Bike. Work. Then those things in reverse."

"Nothing of note?"

"Nothing of note."

"Not even this, right here?" Carmilla raised an eyebrow.

"Of course _this_ is of note. I've been looking forward to these nights everyday. You're like my only friend."

"Aw dammit. I'm friend-zoned already?" Carmilla joked.

"If you believe in the friendzone, we have much bigger issues to discuss." Laura said seriously.

"Nah, I don't. I'm just teasing."

"If you turn out to be one of those softbois, I'm seriously gonna flip the heck out."

Carmilla chuckled deeply as she booped Laura's nose. "I can't help it, you're so cute. I just want to carry you around all day and put you on my bag like a keychain."

Laura blushed and swatted away Carmilla's hand. "And you... you're so sexy I... You can be on porn!"

Carmilla stopped for a moment then laughed out loud. "What is that even supposed to mean?"

"I don't know!" Laura said, exasperated at herself and her unreliable mouth.

"I hope you can put that mouth to better use when you're with ladies."

"Excuse me, I have a 100% approval rate among my exes."

"Hence, the break-ups?"

"Dammit, Carmilla, you're such a smartass."

The smartass chortled and booped Laura's nose yet again.

"Such a cute nose."

They had more back and forth banter in between bites of the tangy beef, garlic rice, and sunny side up eggs, and sips of coffee. Laura was getting increasingly annoyed at Carmilla, but at the same time started feeling more and more enamoured of her. It confused her, but she tried to ignore it as she raced Carmilla to the cashier to pay for their dinner.

"It's my turn, Carm."

"But I want to pay."

"Too bad, I won the race. If you stopped smoking, maybe you could win next time."

"Concerned, are you?" Carmilla nudged.

"Call it charity for the poor in spirit." Laura said, raising her chin and crossing her arms.

"Whatever." Red was yet again creeping up on the taller woman's face, and Laura felt her heart skip a beat. She desperately tried to stop herself from reading too much into such an involuntary reaction but her inner journalist couldn't help herself.

"Let's grab a beer," Carmilla said as she took Laura's hand for the third time that night, pulling her back towards the 7Eleven a few ways ahead.

"Wait for me here. I'll go buy them since you paid for dinner."

"Them? How many bottles do you plan on buying?

"Let's have two each."

Laura nodded as she sat down onto the benches just outside the convenience store. She watched Carmilla enter and go straight for the refrigerators, grabbing them a couple of bottles of cheap beer, and pay for them at the cashier. Carmilla gave him a two-finger salute before heading out.

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"That salute."

"Ah, you noticed. It's a lesbian salute. Learned it from Kate McKinnon."

"Oh, you mean that funny lady from SNL?"

"There are a lot of funny ladies there, but yep, that's the one."

Carmilla masterfully opened the bottles using her lighter, offering Laura one. She took it, clinked their bottles together, and took a sip.

"I started listening to that podcast while biking."

"Which one?"

"Alice Isn't Dead."

"And? What can you say about it so far?"

"I'm about three episodes in and I must say, it's a really interesting premise. I love it already."

"Right? I told you it's good."

"I love how they interspersed her rambling about the mundane with the weird things she runs across. Very funny, very unique."

"Right? Right?"

"Now don't be so excited, you nerd."

"Sorry, cutie. It's just that you're the first one to try and listen to a suggestion I had."

Laura's heart skipped another beat. "Psh. That was nothing. Wait 'til I finish it and kick your ass about all things Alice Isn't Dead."

"Oh I dare you." Carmilla smirked.

They clinked their bottles again and both took huge gulps off of their beer. Laura was admittedly lightweight drinker, and she was already starting to feel slightly buzzed.

"You okay there, cupcake?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just not used to drinking is all."

"You should have told me. Could've bought you a Cocio instead."

"How do you know I'll like that?"

"I saw you drinking that when I saw you for the first time."

"We didn't even talk then."

"Yeah, but I noticed you. You're cute, haven't I told you that?"

"Multiple times, yes."

"Do you like it when I call you cute?"

Laura finished the remaining half bottle in one go and answered.

"...yes."

"Aww she likes me." Carmilla said as she opened the bottle for Laura, who grabbed it immediately and took a swig.

"Would you like to sleep with me?" Laura blurted after drinking half the contents of her second bottle.

"Excuse me?" Carmilla said, blushing.

"N-no! Not like that. I mean, actually sleep. Let's try to sleep. Together."

"What made you think of that grand idea, madame?"

"I have a good reason, I promise."

"Let's hear it."

"Well, as you know, I have trouble sleeping, right? And so do you."

"Go on." Carmilla started on her second bottle.

"And I'm pretty comfortable around you now. I'm guessing you are, too?"

"Yes, continue."

"So maybe we just needed someone we can sleep with - no - stop laughing Carm! I mean it." Laura finally finished her beer and hiccuped. "I mean, we just need someone we're comfortable with so we can actually sleep. If we still can't sleep, we can talk instead, like what we're doing now."

"So where do we do it?" Carmilla smirked.

"In my bed?" Carmilla laughed at Laura's answer, as she was a bit too late to notice the innuendo in the question. She then clarified. "We're literally just sleeping."

"Alright, cutie. Alright."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	5. tea and comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will they finally be able to sleep?

"Hey."

"Hey."

It was three a.m. on a weekend night. Two women awkwardly lay beside each other on a small bed inside a likewise tiny apartment, and not, in any way, touching each other. Empty cups of chamomile tea were at the bedside table, the two having just finished drinking them to try and help them relax and sleep. They both had their eyes trained to the ceiling, and their hands propped on their own stomachs, perhaps contemplating their own navels and how it led them to this moment.

They were both in sleepwear as they usually are whenever they met. The only difference is that they were in Laura's apartment for the first time, tonight.

"Is this not too personal?" Carmilla asked.

"Yeah, it is. I realised that just now." Laura said. "You've probably seen much of who I am now when we came in," she added.

Carmilla scratched her cheek. "Sorry for the trouble."

The smaller woman craned her neck towards Carmilla and gave her her warmest smile. "It's no trouble, Carm. I was the one who invited you over."

And that, she did. But that was about an hour ago, when she was tipsy. Now, she's a bit more sober and _very much mortified_ at her own actions. She did not know what came over her to be that bold, and she wasn't sure if she was proud of herself for having the guts to do it, or if she deserves a slap right across her face for having the audacity.

"I gotta admit, cutie. I didn't think you had it in you," Carmilla said as she kept her eyes on the ceiling. "Inviting me over to your place, I mean."

"Yeah, well, I can pull a power move when I mean to," Laura said as she tried to sound confident as possible.

Carmilla chuckled. "Can it be my turn to pull a power move?"

"It depends on the power move."

"Hm. Can I hold your hand?"

Warmth slowly but surely crept up to Laura's cheeks; she didn't know how to answer the question but she put her hands from her stomach to either side of her body so Carmilla can reach for her right hand.

The room was dark, but not so much that they couldn't see each other. Only the streetlights from outside slightly illuminated them. They could only make out the outlines of each other's bodies if they tried to look at each other; however, the darkness was the least part of their worries. Both of them seemed to be a nervous wreck around each other once a bed got involved.

Laura felt something warm try to reach in for her hand.

"It's fine if you don't want to." Carmilla said.

Despite Carmilla's prompt to give Laura an excuse to not touch her, their fingers slowly and mindlessly interlaced together. Laura smiled as her hand sinked beneath Carmilla's touch.

"This is nice." Carmilla said, still looking at the ceiling.

"Yeah," Laura agreed, her face still red-hot and her heart about to thump out of her chest, her eyes also trained back to the ceiling.

"I'm glad you invited me over."

"Me too."

"If ever there's a 'next time,' let's do it in my place." She looked at Laura. "I mean, just to be fair with tonight being too personal for you. Level out the playing field, you know." Carmilla said.

"Sure. No problem. If it's no trouble with you," Laura smiled.

A rather comfortable silence fell between the two, only Carmilla's occasional humming interrupting it. She had her thumb absentmindedly running across Laura's knuckles, without any inkling that Laura was quietly trying to reel in her own growing desperation for the woman beside her.

"You sleepy?" Laura asked nervously.

"Yeah, kind of."

"Oh, so our plan is working."

"Only kind of working. I still can't actually sleep, cutie."

"Yeah, me too."

Carmilla scooted closer to Laura and lied on her side to face the smaller girl. She tucked her right hand underneath her cheek to prop her head up, as the other still had Laura's hand.

"So, what do we do now?" Carmilla asked.

Laura turned to face her, now furiously blushing.

"We talk, as we are wont to do," she answered quickly.

"I see my old-people way of talking has been rubbing off on you."

"Yeah, I wish you'd rub something else." Laura blurted.

Carmilla laughed at the remark as she squeezed Laura's hand, while the other woman mentally slapped her forehead for that unnecessarily dirty comeback. It was a dangerous thing to say, especially now that they were in bed together.

No matter how much Laura wanted to close their gap and kiss her, she couldn't ruin her relationship with this woman by being too forward. She was her only friend after all.

Still, Laura must have moved closer to Carmilla unconsciously as they now lay in bed shoulder to shoulder, her head now touching Carmilla's own. She could inhale the other woman's scent of smoke and roses from this close.

"How are you doing, cupcake?" Carmilla asked out of nowhere.

"What do you mean? We've been together for the past few hours, haven't we?"

"I mean, how are you really doing?"

Laura tried to reflect on the question.

She's been doing rather better recently; at least she thought so. A solid three to four hours of sleep every night was much more than what she usually had before she met Carmilla. She had fun talking with her, and just spending time with her. Her mood had significantly improved; at least, that's what her co-workers said.

This time, she actually had something to look forward to outside of the loop of bed, bike, and work, and it was Carmilla. At that, she smiled to herself.

"I've been doing good, Carm. Thanks to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"I'm glad." Carmilla squeezed Laura's hand and let it go, opting to cross her arms on her chest instead. Laura missed the contact but made no move to close their distance again.

"How about you, Carm?"

"Me? I'm doing great as always."

"Show-off." Laura pretend-scoffed.

Carmilla then poked her rib as a response, and she discover that Laura was in fact _very_ ticklish. Carmilla then started to attack the younger woman.

"Stop!" Laura said in between laughs. "Stop, Carm!" She grabbed Carmilla's hands and kept them in place, directing them away from her body. The dark-haired woman tried to get out of her grip but Laura turned out to be too strong for her.

"Do you work out, cupcake?" Carmilla asked curiously.

"Yeah, I dabble every once in a while."

Carmilla struggled to get herself out of Laura's grasp, but still found herself unable to. Laura snickered and smiled smugly at Carmilla.

"Let me go, cupcake." Carmilla laughed.

"Make me."

Carmilla fell silent. After a beat, she said seriously. "Let me go, cupcake, or I'll kiss you."

Laura was very much tempted to test whether Carmilla would actually do it, debating internally for a split-second, but nevertheless decided against it and let go of Carmilla's hands. 

"Thought so." Carmilla said. "But, back to your question. How have I been doing, you ask?"

Laura just stared blankly at Carmilla and nodded.

"I lied. I'm not doing very good, cupcake. I know we agreed to not talk about personal things, but my family... They're getting to be too much for me. I'm sorry if I'm breaking our agreement."

"It's fine. What do you mean?" Laura said, moving a bit closer.

Carmilla unconsciously inched closer as well. "They're terrible. I mean, it's mostly just my mother, but she alone can already be a handful. I just want to get away, cutie."

Laura grabbed Carmilla's hands and pulled on them, putting Carmilla's arms on her shoulder. She then wrapped her own arms around the other woman's waist, then caressed her back, as if to comfort her.

"I know it sucks now, and that's okay. But I'm here now, and you can talk to me whenever you need me. I'll always listen."

"Thank you, Laura."

 _Laura._ "You can tell me more, if you want to."

Carmilla pulled Laura closer into a full hug, and sighed rather tiredly, as if to prepare for a long story that she has always dreaded to tell.

She never got to tell the story, at least not that night; it was only a matter of minutes when the two fell asleep completely wrapped in each other's arms, their faces mere inches away from each other.

They fell asleep for a full eight hours into Saturday moning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is always appreciated 🥰


End file.
